The Last To Know
by Ladybug-Jojo
Summary: Peter and Eli talk after Peter has seen something a few days before that has his thoughts running. dedicated to Bye11, kahu22, and Sab, you my ladies makes it worth writing... Also it is an Eli/Peter talk but it is not slash, and Alicia and Will are tagged as charcters for a reason!


_Okay short little oneshot that came to happen because of a talk a few days ago with Moni (Bye11). And because she was a sounding board for this one it is dedicated to her. She is really brilliant!_

_It is based on a quote from Grey's Anatomy, which along with Bones seems to be my playing material these days!_

_So this one is dedicated to her, kahu22 for all of her continuing encouragement, and maybe the most to Sabrina. My amazing friend and beta, sparring partner and second brain these days. If not for all of our talk lately this story would probably not have been written. _

_I don't own the good wife! og Grey's!  
_

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**The Last to Know**

"How bad would a divorce look for me in the future?" Peter sighed and looked over at Eli who turned around quickly, tension already building in the crises manager.

"Why? Is there anything you haven't told me?" Eli asked nervously, his fear already telling Peter that a divorce wouldn't look good for him.

Peter got up from his chair and walked over to the window, staring out of it. It was raining, heavily so, fitting for his mood. He had over the last days considered what to do or not. He loved her, Alicia, he really did, but if he felt like that for her, had he any right to hold her back further from what she wanted?

"How long has she been in love with him?" Peter whispered with a sigh, and he could hear Eli stiffen behind him.

"Who?" His friend and helper asked, though his voice betrayed him, and Peter fully knew that Eli had no doubt who they were talking about.

"You know who, Eli... so tell me... this won't pass, will it?" he asked as he turned to face Eli, and saw the other man swallow, as he looked uncomfortable.

"No it won't..." He finally admitted with a sigh. "I watched and hoped it would... but..." He paused and Peter finished for him.

"It hasn't..." and Eli nodded, slowly with a sigh.

"How did you find out?" He asked Peter, who looked away again, feeling his heart break a little more, maybe, if he hadn't screwed up in the first place, they wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be in the position of having to face the fact that his wife loved another man, was in love with another man.

He had thought it was about sex, about tension, about excitement, and he had thought it was past. Until his election day, the run in with Will, him not wanting to hurt Alicia, had gotten him thinking again. And Will actually not turning in the evidence of the fraud though Peter had said he could do whatever he wanted had made him think even more. He had always thought Will lusted after Alicia, he had never really considered that it went deeper. However he had pushed those thoughts back and away, he couldn't wonder about that then when Alicia had renewed their wedding vows and looked happy doing so, and yet she hadn't looked really happy the last few months after, he had thought it was just about her new role as first lady and getting used to it all again, as well as the troubles with starting the new firm, that was until the other day.

"I came back from Springfield the other day... a bit early, and I knew she was in court. I went to see her... they were still in session." He started to explain, while Eli looked at him confused, not really getting where he was going with this yet. "She was formidable... amazing..." He added with a little smile, while thinking about how good she really was at her job, what an strong woman, and amazing lawyer she had become. "She was fighting against him... they were both arguing. I had never before seen them that pissed at each other... I mean I figured there would be some bad blood after she left and started her own firm. But it was intense, it was... I don't know... I don't think in the past I have ever considered that he was able of hating her... but right there it seemed like he did."

Peter shook his head while trying to figure out what he felt about the exchange between Alicia and Will in court, but then continued, knowing he needed to tell Eli about what came next for any of this to make sense. Why he now knew, what he did... for a brief moment he wondered how long Eli had known, but he wasn't sure he would like the answer if he asked.

"Anyway it wasn't until after the session was over as they packed up I saw it. He looked over at her. But this time there were no anger or hate, he looked lost, hurt, and sad. He looked like someone just killed his beloved in front of him... it was... painful... I guess that is the only way to describe it... and then when he looked away again he missed her looking back, and her eyes were filled with the same emotions. She looked so sad... I can only remember two times she looked as sad, and that was both because of things I did to her. I can't believe I haven't seen it before... I guess I was afraid to look." He sighed and looked at Eli, who nodded in understanding.

"It won't pass, will it, Eli? I am once more making her sad, hurting her... though this time it is not by my actions but rather by my lack thereof." Peter whispered, and Eli sighed and nodded slowly.

"Yeah... It can still pass..." Eli started to say, but Peter held up his hand stopping his words.

"Do us both a favor and don't lie now Eli. I can't compete. She's not having an affair. She's not trying to hurt me. She's just... the only people who don't know that Alicia loves Will are Alicia and Will. How do I compete with that?" He sighed and Eli nodded.

"I can't, can I... I was the one that put us here in the first place, if not for what I did in the past, things would be different, but they aren't and now... she keeps hurting because of it... I don't have any right to keep her in this... and Veronica was right, Alicia is never gonna be the one to put an end to us. If one is, it has to be me. So tell me, will a divorce ruin everything? No, don't, it doesn't matter... even just saying it out loud gave me the answer I needed. I already took so much away from her, how could I continue to rub her for the chance of being happy..." He closed his eyes while taking a deep breath, trying to clear away the mist in his eyes. After all he hated Will, he hated himself and he hated Alicia just a little bit for loving Will and not him, because hate was an easier emotion to handle than pain, and sadness. The sadness that filled his heart at the thought of losing Alicia, at the thought of that his wife for almost 20 years were was in love with another man. He opened them again and looked at Eli.

"Will you arrange a press conference for tomorrow, and look into who would be the best possible divorce lawyer? I know there will be a 6 months period of separation first, but think it is about time I take these steps, to finally give Alicia something she wants that would make her happy. I guess I haven't done much of that lately or for years really." He sighed again, and looked at the other man.

"If you are sure..." Eli answered.

"I am. Thank you Eli. I better drive back to Chicago tonight and have a long talk with Alicia and the kids." Peter checked his watch, if he left now he could maybe make it for a late dinner, he would call Alicia on the way and tell her. He figured one last nice family dinner would be a good thing, before he talked with both her and the kids. The next six months or more wouldn't be easy, they would be hard work really. But in the end, it was probably for the better. He started to pack up and actually thought Eli might have left.

"Peter..." The campaign manager spoke out loud making Peter turn his head and look at him.

"I just... I am proud of you... it won't look good to many... but you are doing a good thing... just... I am proud of you..." He admitted and Peter gave him half a smile, and nodded, as Eli got up from where he was sitting and walked to the door.

"I will arrange a press conference... Alicia should be there if it is possible..." He told Peter before he left the office.

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Eli had meant it when he said he was proud of Peter. It was a political bad move but as a human being it was a good one, a genuine one. Eli had after all long known about the epic love tragedy that had been playing out for both Will and Alicia, a tragedy that might finally have the end they both deserved, one that made them both happy. He had always felt caught in it because he was working for Peter but he had come to consider Alicia a friend and a person he cared about deeply and respected, and wanted to see happy. And he had long ago had to realize Alicia's happiness was probably not at on the same path as Peter's political future. No matter how much he wished that was. And even longer than knowing about Alicia's feelings had he known about Will's feelings for Alicia. He hadn't deleted the voice mail with his declaration of love because he wanted to, but because it was his job to protect Peter, and his campaigns. And the chance of Alicia running away with another man worked against that, so he had done what he needed to do, but always felt a bit bad for the poor man that had spilled his heart to the woman he couldn't have.

He had felt even worse the moment he realized that Will's feelings were was anything but unrequited, and Alicia shared them completely but just couldn't admit to them because of the image she had, because of her marriage. The thought of that these two might finally find a way to make each other happy instead of pain, made Eli happy as a person though it would make his job a hell of a lot harder. But on the other hand, then when had Eli ever backed down from a challenge? And there were many ways he could spin this to look well for both Peter and Alicia, and that was what he would spent the next time doing. Putting order to the chaos, and help setting things right. If it could be done, only time would tell.

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_please let me know your thoughts!_


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